"Once Upon a Times"

Yesterday I had the privilege of getting one of my wisdom teeth out, so I have been doing a lot of sitting and thinking. Yes, I said one of my wisdom teeth. (I am incredibly blessed.) And yes, I did say it was a privilege. As one of my co-workers put it the other day, getting your wisdom teeth out is "just another step on the missionary path".

Wait. A mission?

Where did that come from?

For any of you who have known me for a while, (at least within the last year), you may have been aware of my "disinterest" in going on a mission. If you were to ask my parents they'd probably tell you that I was kind of against the idea. They wouldn't be wrong. It was hard for me when people would come up to me with a big smile on their face and say, "Oh, you're going on a mission, right?"  I felt like I was letting them down when I said "no, I don't think so". It became something that I felt was expected of me, even though I had never mentioned I wanted to go on a mission. I became a little bitter and pretty much blocked the idea out of my mind. I wasn't going on a mission.

Luckily for me, the Lord works in mysterious ways; His timing is absolutely, unmistakably, and infinitely perfect. He loves me, and us, more than you or I can comprehend.

Let me tell you a story. I will have to write out a somewhat condensed version, because well, it's been a year. A LOT can happen in a year.

...I graduated from high school, unsure what my next step was and I had a head full of emotions and "unknowns". Just when I finally thought my plan for the next stage of life was great, the Lord presented me with some important decisions. I prayed day and night. Read my scriptures more than I ever had. And fasted more intently than I had ever tried. On the day that I was supposed to make my decision, my Father in Heaven lovingly and knowingly placed the answer to my prayers inside my mailbox. (No joke.) That decision was made. I would be attending Salt Lake Community College. For some reason, I knew He needed me to stay.
Emotions were still high, and the "unknowns" kept growing. Again, a few months later, I was faced with another incredibly hard, but absolutely right decision to make. It felt like part of my heart was being ripped out. (Dramatic, I know.) I thought what I had experienced over the summer was hard; I was wrong. I had never prayed more willingly, more intently, more openly, or more personally than I did at this time. I needed guidance, comfort, and strength. I was constantly studying the scriptures, words of Prophets and Apostles, and trying to surround myself with good things. I knew the decision I made was right, but it was so, so, so, hard.
(Then came a thought: What if I went on a mission? I didn't entertain this thought too long and I brushed it aside saying, No. Not interested.)
Throughout the 'heartache' I was experiencing at the time, a wonderful and loving friend came into my life. Luckily for us we had a bonding moment at the beginning of our senior year, so we already had a head start on our very important friendship. If you ask me, the Lord knew what He was doing ;) I quickly realized that this friend was one of the biggest reasons I hadn't moved away. I needed her. We told each other everything and we immediately became best friends. She even invited me to her Institute class, a Mission Prep course, since she was planning on serving a mission. Obviously, I wasn't planning on serving a mission, but if I went I was able to get out of the house, talk with another human being rather than sitting alone at home, and feel the spirit. I couldn't very well pass the opportunity up. Plus, the teacher was super funny and I always left with a smile on my face.
Then one day, later in September, I thought I had met my prince charming. Literally. He was practically perfect and it all worked out like a puzzle. The pieces just seemed to fit. Again, this was a time of much prayer and studying. I was grateful for the great example of this young man to encourage me to do such things.  A decision that I wanted to be so right, was just... wrong. We weren't together very long, but the time we had together was full of good times, growth, and good lessons to be learned. He deserved a lot better, but his Christ-like example is something I knew I'd always be grateful for.
No Prince Charming then? Nope. Not yet. Up to this point in time I can say that I honestly had been trying to figure out who I was going to marry. Because obviously that is what happens right after you graduate high school. ;)
Definitely not. At least for me. I quickly learned that I was nowhere near ready, nor quite so interested in getting married yet. I was too young, too immature, too inexperienced at life. I needed to become me.

So what was my next step down the yellow brick road? I had no idea. Still, emotions were high, and the "unknowns" seemed to be multiplying. I wasn't interested in dating anymore; I was going to school, I was working, and I was attending institute... I felt like I was just floating and not going anywhere. I didn't know what to do to help me become who I was meant to be. I was struggling with feelings I had never had and past experiences were ever so present. It was hard for me to let go of the past. I needed something to focus on, something to look forward to and work for.

(Maybe I should go on a mission. What? Am I just thinking that because I don't have a boy or because I don't know what else to do? What are my reasons for wanting to go? I would learn so much about myself... But it'd be too hard... Why am I even having these feelings?)
One night I was discussing these thoughts and feelings with my little sister and she told me, "maybe you don't have a boy because you are supposed to go on a mission..." Even though I didn't know if it should, this statement meant something to me. I still had no idea so I prayed and I fasted. I read and I studied. These thoughts were still there and it still growing. Am I really supposed to go on a mission? What are my reasons for even thinking about this? I didn't know...
My last day in mission prep the teacher looked me in the eye, pointed at me, and said "Sister Heidi" while he was explaining an experience that future missionaries could have with an investigator. This was huge to me and the spirit definitely touched me that night.
The thoughts of a mission started become more serious so I started to acknowledge them more. You can imagine my parents' surprise when I'd subtly bring up a mission or say things like "So, if I go on a mission....". Needless to say, they were shocked. (I was too.)

I kept praying and asking Heavenly Father what these thoughts meant, what was right, and if I should prepare for a mission. My confusion didn't go away, and the "unknowns" didn't either. I went to the temple, I talked with my friends and family, and I continued to fast and pray.
I finally realized that I wasn't getting a "yes" or "no" answer to my many prayers, but I wasn't doing much to find the answer. So I decided I needed to start doing something to help me figure out what the Lord wanted me to do, I needed to start acting. I needed to change what I was praying for. Throughout this process my will started to turn more toward the Lord... I wanted to do whatever He wanted me to do.
I was invited to go to mission prep for our stake one day. In the back of my mind, I had no doubt I needed to go, but I still debated it all day long. I quickly forced myself out the door before I could decide to stay home, and I am so glad I did. It really was something I needed to do; little did I know that day would go on to shape future decisions.

Since then a lot has happened; the thoughts of "I am thinking about a mission", turned into "I am planning on a mission and will start preparing for one, but I'll keep praying and see how I feel". My confusion started to level out, even the "unknowns" didn't bother me so much anymore. There were times when doubts would come up, times when confusion seemed to spiral out of control, and fears would block out any faith I had gained. But, I knew going to mission prep would literally brush these thoughts away and it always did. I knew that I could pray to Heavenly Father for strength to overcome these road bumps and receive the strength I needed. I started to recognize how I felt during and after mission prep. The excitement I felt was something I hadn't felt since high school on Sophomore Orientation Day. A day when I was just so incredibly excited to share what I loved with so many people. (Hmmm.... that's what a mission is...)  I couldn't deny that I felt like going on a mission was the right decision. So, my decision to plan on and prepare for a mission became more serious.

Once these thoughts became more serious, I started to have material and financial worries because of decisions I had made long before the thought of a mission ever crossed my mind. I prayed and expressed my concerns to Heavenly Father, and He literally took away those concerns in a way I would have never imagined. It was almost like He was telling me, "You don't have to worry about that anymore. I want you to go. Go." It was an incredible experience. I felt that if I didn't go, I would be completely ungrateful.
After that my thoughts progressed to, "I am starting my papers". Once I decided to do that, the confusion was gone, the "unknowns" didn't even cross my mind, and I started taking more advantage of the Atonement and its' enabling power to move forward in faith. I felt a happiness and hope that I hadn't experienced for a very long time. I knew those feelings meant something. Now, I can happily and excitedly say "I have my interview with the Stake President today to submit my papers! I am going on a mission!"

For now, we can say that is the end of that story.... even though it's not. :)

(Again, that was a very condensed version. There is so much I could write. Sorry, it was probably confusing.)

My point in telling my story is that,

My story isn't your story. Neither is it your typical fairytale. But, I can honestly say that looking back, it feels like one. No princess is ever able to surpass adversity, confusion, fear, and tribulation before she earns the crown or finds her Prince Charming; in the end, all of the hard times made the good times possible, and so much more sweet. I know this is true in our lives and we are reminded  of it when Elder Uchtdorf said,

"Has there ever been a person who

 did not have to go through his or her

own dark valley of temptation, trial, and sorrow?

Sandwiched between their "once upon a time"

and "happily ever after,"

they all had to experience great adversity."

 

Everyone experiences hard times. It is necessary and inevitable for our growth. Without the bitter, we would never know the sweet. Everyone has their own "once upon a time" .... and in the end, we all will have our own "happily ever after".

 

I imagine that the joy and happiness I have felt since I have made the decision to serve a mission is similar to what a princess feels when she marries Prince Charming, saves the kingdom, or beats the old witch after overcoming terrible beasts, wars, and evil stepmothers. Although the situation is different, the idea is similar; they overcame their own trials and adversity. Their story isn't mine, and my story isn't yours.

 

Lately I have been thinking a lot about those I know that are seniors in high school right now. I think back to this time last year and how much I struggled. I remember the worry and fear I had, the sadness I felt, and the "unknowns" that lingered. I remember the "perfect" plan I had made in my head for the rest of my life because I thought I knew everything. I remember comparing my life and my experiences and my plans to that of others. I didn't realize that I had my own story, and so did everyone else. I remember feeling completely inadequate to become "an adult", and lost because I didn't know what I was doing. I think back to all of the times the adults around me would say to me "Just wait, life begins after high school." Although I knew this was true, I never completely understood it. I could never wrap my head around it. High school was my life. I think about those that may be experiencing these same things and I just want to help. I know it is hard.

I went through emotions, trials, temptation, sorrow, and adversity that I never imagined I would, just like most freshman college students. I became someone I didn't think I could be (both in good and bad ways), and had to try and overcome weaknesses I didn't know I had. So, what would I say to my high school self, my college self, anyone that is in high school right now, or just anyone experiencing life, and may be struggling in similar ways I did?

 

Trust. Trust that the Lord has a perfect plan made just for you. It will be your own unique, amazing, and beautiful fairytale. Yes, you will have hard times. You will experience adversity you never imagined. You will be confused, lonely, and scared... You will have to decide who you want to be, learn who the Lord wants you to be, and stay close to Him so you can know how to become that person. You will have your plans changed. Trust that the Lord knows YOU and loves YOU. Trust that you have a Father in Heaven and a loving Savior who are completely aware of YOU. Your Savior will be there when you are lonely, confused, and scared. He understands what you are going through and He knows what is best for YOU. Even if it doesn't seem like it.Your Father in Heaven will always hear your prayers. He has a plan for YOU. It is only yours. No one else's. But, you have to do your part in moving forward on the path that leads to your "happily ever after". No princess married the prince by sitting in her room waiting for someone to find her. No Olympic Athlete wins a gold medal by watching everyone else train. They acted, they searched, they fought, they worked, and they served. You will experience hard times, but you will experiences some pretty amazing times as well. You will learn new things, face new challenges, and grow in ways you never imagined.

Set goals. Meet new people. Have fun. Try new things. Stay humble. Pray... a lot. Read your scriptures. Consistently. It will help. Read your Patriarchal Blessing. Learn how the spirit speaks to you, then listen to the Spirit and heed its' promptings. You never know what the Lord is preparing you for. He is preparing you though, and He will provide a way for you to overcome any difficulty you face. Remember that “You are a beloved daughter (or son) of Heavenly Father, prepared to come to the earth at this particular time for a sacred and glorious purpose.”  ^{(Elder Uchtdorf)}
That is what I would like to tell anyone who is struggling right now. It also what I have to tell myself when confusion, worry, doubt, and fear set in.

 

If you would've asked me a year ago if I was going to SLCC, I would've said "Definitely not." (I don't know why. It just wasn't my plan. SLCC is a great place and if you plan on going there I think that is awesome.) A year ago I never, ever, ever thought I would happily and excitedly be able to say that I was going to serve a mission. I probably would have laughed at you if you did think that. BUT, luckily for me, the Lord is patient. He is kind. And He knew what I needed to learn. He knew how to open my heart little by little to be able to fully accept His will. He has a plan for me. He has a plan for you.

 

1 Nephi 7:12 says,

"Yea, and how is it that ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do all things according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith in him? Wherefore, let us be faithful to him."

We can put ourselves in this scripture: "Yea, and how is it that ye, ____, have forgotten that the Lord is able to do all things according to his will, for you, if it so be that you exercise faith in him? Wherefore, be faithful to him."

 

In a lifetime full on adversity, it would be hard to live without faith in the Lord. How can we not make it to our "happily ever after" when we have this knowledge? This scripture makes it so simple: The Lord is able to do all things according to the faith of His children. So, let us be faithful to him!

 

"Ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. Amen." (D&C 4:7)

Between our "once upon a time" and our "happily ever after", we are going to need some help. Prayer is one of our greatest tools. I know the Lord answers our prayers. But, we need to ask, we need to knock, and we need to work, in order for Him to answer. It may be in a way that is completely unexpected. It may be in a way that we don't even realize was an answer until months later. It may take a few weeks or months to even receive an answer. He may even answer in a way that is not what we want. But, He will answer, and He will answer in a way that is best for us. I know He will. Trust in Him, He knows what is best.

 

I know that the Lord has a plan for each and every one of us. He has set a unique and special "once upon a time" and "happily ever after" in place for us individually if we follow Him. He is always there. Always. He knows us. He know our strengths, weaknesses, worries, fears... everything. He loves us more than we will ever be able to comprehend.

 

For this reason, I want to serve a mission. I have seen the Lord's hand in my life this past year in ways I never, ever imagined. He has blessed me in times I needed it most. He is there to lift me whenever I fall. He is forgiving and patient. I want to show my love for Him by serving Him in whatever way possible. I have felt of the strength that reading the scriptures can bring into my life, and the guidance that we can receive through them. I have experienced the enabling power that the Atonement can bring into our lives, and the incredible happiness that comes with the knowledge that He loves me. I have felt of His unconditional love. I want to others to feel that. I want others to be able to recognize the difference that having the gospel in their life can make. I want to see the light in their eyes grow as their testimony of the Savior does. I want others to feel the love that their Father in Heaven and Savior have for them. I want them to love their "once upon a time" and keep moving forward to their "happily ever after".

 

"In stories, as in life, adversity teaches us things we cannot learn otherwise. Adversity helps to develop a depth of character that comes in no other way. Our loving Heavenly Father has set us in a world filled with challenges and trials so that we, through opposition, can learn wisdom, become stronger, and experience joy."

-Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf

 

 I am grateful for my "once upon a time" that has only just begun, and I am excited to continue my path toward my own "happily ever after" as I serve a mission in a few shorts months.

 I hope that we can all move forward on our path toward our own

with a smile on our face, and joy our hearts.

Keep smiling :)

***For any of you high school seniors that read this, or anyone of any age, that need someone to talk to, about anything, I would love to be that person. If their is anyone who would like to know more about the experiences I have had, the failures, the trials, and the adversity that have led me to this point, I would love to share.

It is okay.

I guess one part of the accepting the past is admitting that you miss it... well, at least that is the road block I have come to on this new and exciting journey of mine.

I am not going to lie. I miss ninth grade basketball. I miss the parties we'd have before practice, the times we'd mess around on the track or in the hallways.. I miss the team. I miss sophomore year when high school was so new and exciting and I realized that I literally thrive on being busy and making friends. I miss the seniors that were seriously super heroes to me (Creating Heroes... get it? ;) ). I miss managing the basketball team and the people I met because of it. I miss running with my friends, and going to games. I miss it when Muffin would chase me up the stairs, and when I would spend time watching weird Youtube videos with Spencer during lunch. I miss the times when "Party Rock Anthem" would come on and Student Government would become a dance team. I miss when Alexa, Spencer, and I would sing "Only Hope" and watch Spencer drool over Mandy Moore. I miss Chemistry class when Caden, Quinn, TK, Preston, Murphy and I would goof off and then learn more from Murphy in five minutes than we would from the teacher.  I miss indoor track conditioning.  I miss those times when I was able to surprise (or creep people out) people by letting them know I remember them from when we were in the same class in 2nd grade. I miss that nervous feeling I'd get before assemblies. I miss the spiritual thoughts we'd share before XC races, and the obnoxious singing on the way home. I miss junior year and the motivation I had to push myself. I miss the opportunity I had to learn so many new things that I didn't realize would end up helping me to help others. I miss the Christmas Extravaganza and the dance Devinee and I made up. I miss morning track practices when we were all so tired, we were crazy, including Rush. I miss Mr. Jensen's class and hearing his hilarious accents. I miss the relationships and friendships I made this year. I miss planning Prom and loving every second of it, and hugging Ms. V after because I was done. I miss my senior year and feeling a love for so many people that I had never felt before. I miss assembly rehearsals, cross country practice, and long days at the school making sure we were ready for an upcoming event.. I miss the time when the Front Row Crew and I became friends. I miss crazy rainstorms and BYU games with some pretty cool people. I miss painting. I miss making posters. I miss dressing up like an elf. I miss long conversations with close friends in the hallway. I miss saying hi to hundreds of people everyday and feeling lucky when I got to see Mama Ham. I miss early morning meetings, doing the announcements, talking to Mr. Quarnberg, and walking in and out of the office at least 20 times a day, each time being greeted with a smile from the cute ladies at the desks. I miss the friendships I had with teachers and students... I miss being a part of something bigger than myself.

And that's okay.

A few weeks ago I went back to the high school twice in one day. This was weird for me. I hadn't gone back to visit since the very beginning of the year, and you could say I have almost been avoiding as much of high school as I can. I finally accepted that as hard as I may try, I can't avoid it. I live with a junior who is on student government and involved in sports (pretty much doing what I did, but better) and excited about everything, a freshman who just made the sophomore basketball team, and an 8th grader who is just as excited and involved in the basketball world as the older two. I realized my life will be much more enjoyable if I just have fun with the little (yet huge) part of high school that still lives in my home. Going with one of my old high school friends to visit my two favorite advisors and teachers that morning made me realize how much I truly miss what I used to be involved in. Especially at this time of year. Everyone was getting geared up for Sub 4 Santa; I saw it when I visited that day, I see it on social media, and I hear about it all of the time. This is something I told myself I would never miss. It is crazy and tiring and stressful and hard. But guess what? I am really missing it. I miss devoting the majority of my time to a something that was completely about others. As I went to the basketball game later on that day, memories of friends and experiences I had there came rushing back. I know this is natural and is something everyone experiences. I guess I just finally admitted to myself that "yeah, I do miss parts of high school".

And that's okay.

Since I have graduated people often ask me how it is to be graduated. I usually say "it is definitely different, but it is good; it's better than high school." I think that is true. I loved high school, but there are things I couldn't go back to. As I was graduating, I told myself I had to move on. As summer went on and I started college, I was even more convinced that I had to move on, which at the time meant that I had to leave behind anything from the last few years of my life: feelings, experiences, even close friends. I am grateful for the experiences I have had since graduation and for the opportunities I have had to grow... because I have grown a ton. But, I regret the attitude I had that I needed to 'forget' the things and people I loved. Part of the growing I've had to do is realize that I was wrong. Yeah, I need to move on and progress, but that doesn't mean I can't still love and treasure everything that I did.
(for any of you I have done this to, I am truly sorry)

I miss the simplicity of high school and not really having a lot to worry about. I miss literally having my year written out for me on a calendar that I was given before the year even started. I miss having daily responsibilities. I miss having multiple opportunities to do things for others when I didn't even realize it. I miss the planning, the stressing and preparing, the creating... I miss being busy and having fun. More than ever before I have realized that I think too much about things and I could make things a lot simpler for myself if I didn't.

I miss all of my friends. I never realized how important, valuable, and amazing friends were in my life until they all either left for college, missions, or are still in high school and living a completely different life than I am. Throughout high school I always felt like I had lots of friends. I had a few close ones, but I was lucky enough to consider most people I came in contact with a friend. Since I have started college, my social circle has diminished quite a bit. I have been blessed with a particularly amazing friend, and some others that have come and gone, but I seem to spend more time alone with myself than I ever do with other people. Even my family. This is bad for a person who can literally drive herself crazy with too much time.
I have realized how much people can make a difference in my life and that it is my choice to let people in.

Not just people, but people that I know, love--and most importantly--serve. These people were the ones I surrounded myself with for 3 (well, 4) years and that I truly took for granted. I feel more selfish than I ever have in my life, most of it is by choice, some by circumstance. Another thing I don't like.

Now, I know that attitude is a choice. I know that we can choose to be happy. I know that there are many things that I miss, but they are things that I can get back...whether in the same form or not. I know that there are opportunities to serve all around me... they are just aren't laid out as simply anymore.

And that is okay.

It is okay that nothing is as easy as it used to be. If that was the case, I wouldn't progress.
It is okay that I am not a part of a team, or that I am not on student government anymore. There is a time and a place for all things.
It is okay that I actually have to make my own decisions and trust myself and my own feelings. It is probably harder than it should be, but I know it is important.
It is okay that I have to go out of my comfort zone to find others to talk to and serve. The comfort zone I broke out of during high school quickly closed back up since graduation.
It is okay that I have to make new friends. People come and go for a reason and I know there are so many people in this world that I can learn from and that I can serve and love the same way I did in high school.

It is okay that I miss what I used to be a part of. It is natural. If not I think I would be a little un-grateful.

It is okay that I don't know what I want to go into. I'm not even 19.
It is okay that I have absolutely no idea where I will be in a few months from now. I'm not supposed to. That's what prayer is for.
It is okay that I truly have to rely on the spirit more than ever to help me make decisions. If I don't, I find myself being pretty stupid.
It is okay that there are some people that I really miss from high school. That is natural. They were a big part of my life.
It is okay that I miss the excitement of high school. But again, there is a time and a place for all things.

It is okay that I honestly cannot wait for my brother to come home because I miss one of my best friends. Haha even though we'll have to completely get to know one another again, I am really excited.
It is okay that my parents have become some of my closest friends... I think that is how it should be. That is one reason I am grateful I am still here in West Jordan.
It is okay that I have truly learned to love being with my family and spending useless (but valuable)time with them. I didn't do a lot of this during high school and I think I really missed out.

Life is different than it was a year ago. And it is okay. "To everything there is a season and purpose under heaven." There is a time and a place for everything, and season and purpose for all that God wants us to do. It not the time nor place for me to be in high school anymore, and I guess there is purpose in me trying to figure out where I really do belong and who I really am at this stage in my life. I am grateful that Heavenly Father is so patient with me and is always there to help me.

 

It is okay that there is a lot I miss from the last few years of my life. But I know I can't try to live in the past. Loving what I did and accepting that it is over is necessary for me to move forward in faith. For the longest time I denied that I missed anything. I miss a lot of it and I learned even more from all of the experiences I had. But now it is time to embrace where I am, have fun, and move forward in faith. The decisions I am making now may seem huge, and life may not seem as simple anymore, but I know in a few years, these decisions may not seem as big anymore. I also know the experiences I have had the last few years are helping me get through this new stage of life.

 

I don't know about any other freshman college students, but sometimes life seems to hit me in the face and it scares me to death. It is overwhelming and stressful and a little frightening... but so exciting.

Although it may take me a while to realize it, I know everything will be okay.

Sometimes I need to take a step back, realize how blessed I am, and trust that after I have done all that I can, the Lord will cover the rest. This is pretty amazing. I am so grateful to have such a loving Heavenly Father and a Savior who knows exactly what I am going through.

 

Psalm 46:10




I definitely still have a lot to figure out. And that is okay. That is why we are here, right? To learn and become who the Lord wants us to become. Elder Richard G. Scott said, "Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously." (this is something I have been experiencing more than ever) "When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they're evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more." I find extreme comfort in that sentence. I know the Lord is aware of me and my worries, my fears, my questions, my trials, my achievements, and my heartache. He is preparing me.

 

Yeah, I miss a lot of things about being in high school. There is a lot to miss- I had some pretty amazing experiences. But life goes on. And it is okay. I am grateful for everyone who was and is still a part of my life. Whether we were close friends, classmates, or acquaintances, even a smile made all the difference.

 

This was kind of a venting post, but they are thoughts I had to express in some way, even if it was only to myself.

 

All of the memories I had throughout high school still make me smile. Hopefully, wherever you are, you are making memories that make you smile as well!

 

 

Keep smiling :)

 

It is okay.

 

 

 

 

Sometimes All You Need is a Little Girls' Night.

Do you remember when everything in the world was a fairytale? When as little girls we would skip down the sidewalk with our friends, or dance in the street out of excitement, and get excited over seeing our favorite Disney Princess?

Well, if you don't I highly recommend taking a group of girls, between the ages of six and thirteen, to a seemingly magical place with one of your closest friends.
Here's a suggestion: Gardner Village. In the middle October. On a Saturday night. When the whole place is full of witches young and old, speakers with blasting music, cute 'Christmas' lights strung around all of the trees, fake witches doing absurd things, hay bells, and a plastic elephant.
Let me be the first to tell you, it is like a miniature Disneyland. No joke.

Alright, rewind. Let's take a few steps back.

At CH's Homecoming Football game this year, my amazing friend Emily and I wandered up and down the bleachers, looking for any other long-lost alumni that we had been missing since Graduation. To my surprise, one of the highlights of my night was not only catching up with old friends, but receiving hugs from my cute cousin every time she walked passed us. This was huge to me. I have never been one to give out hugs, even to my family. But every time my sweet cousin and her friends Ellie and Nicole (Emily's sister) walked by, she seemed to light up and would run to give me a hug. I started thinking about what I would have been thinking at the age of ten if I would've seen my older cousin at a football game.

About a week later:

Emily and I were on one of "SLCC Adventures" and were driving downtown. Both of our heads have been swirling with emotions and we easily talk for hours about anything and everything. (I don't know what I would do without her.) Anyway, we started talking about the Homecoming game, how weird it was to be back at the High School, and how different everything was. Then our conversation switched directions and we started talking about seeing my cousin, her sister, and their friend at the game.

After a few minutes, are brains started turning and we were practically exploding with ideas.

"Do you remember when we were younger and there were always those older girls you looked up to that were just so cool and you wanted to be just like them?"

Those ideas that were beginning to turn in our head revolved on this question.
Was this thought running through my sweet cousins' head as she came up to me at the game and gave me a hug?

"Are we like that to younger girls?"
"I hope we are... I want to be.."

Emily and I wanted to be the girls that her sister, my cousins, and even their friends could look up to, trust, and find a friend in.

So, we decided to plan a night and do something fun with them. This was when all the ideas started to freely flow out of our heads and we were almost cheering with excitement as we were driving. Where do all girls love to go? Especially in October? Gardner Village, of course! :)

Long story short, we planned a night, talked to the girls' parents and were ready to go.

The night came and Emily and I were probably more excited than the girls' we were taking.
Seriously.

I had the privilege of taking my two adorable cousins Hailey and Rachel, along with Emily's two adorable cousins in my car. What do you talk to some 6-year-olds and a 10-year-old about? Anything! Their cute little heads are filled with so many great things! But a few things I found extra amusing: girls LOVE Frozen. Talk about it with them and you will be best friends! Ask them what music they like to listen to. If it is Taylor Swift, make sure to have "We Are Never Getting Back Together" readily available because once that song is on you will hear one of the cutest things of your whole-entire life. Picture two 6-year-olds, and 7-year-old, and a 10-year-old singing along with you to that song. PRICELESS. You will be smiling for days. If it is around Halloween, ask them what they are dressing up as and if they are excited to go Trick-or-Treating. They will automatically tell you all of their Halloween traditions, the decorations they have in their house, what they dressed up as for Halloween last year, and what their favorite candy is.
Easily one of the best 15 minute car rides of my life. I could feel of the sweet spirits that each of these girls have. I could feel of the love our Heavenly Father has for His precious daughters, including me. I heart was full of love, but I felt so loved at the same time.

Doesn't this just make your heart melt?

If any of you have been to Gardner Village in the middle of Witch Fest you can probably agree that it is crazy. Parking is a joke. BUT parking in a nearby apartment complex and taking nice stroll to get to our awaited destination makes for some good talking time. As we approached the entrance the girls started to get jumpy, loud, and even more excited. It was adorable.
So what were we even doing there, you may ask? Going on a Witch Hunt and of course, taking pictures! (I had to. Haha.)

 

As we walked around looking for witches, we took pictures, danced to music in the middle of the streets, tried on funny hats, rode an elephant, saw crazy big spiders, and giggled like no other. How could a night get any better?

This is how:

As we were walking back up to our cars, I looked across the street and saw a lady dressed up as Elsa. No way. Remember how much I said these girls love Frozen? They love Elsa even more. They all stopped and the younger ones especially were practically jumping for joy. Elsa crossed the street and pretty much walked right up to us. The girls looked at her in awe as she waved and said "Hi girls!!". (To whoever that lady was, you made these girls' nights. Literally.) On the way home one of them told me that was her favorite part of the whole night and that her mom was going to "freak out" when she told her. (coming from the mouth of a 6-year-old.... I was dying.)
Also, let little girls decorate sugar cookies with some crushed up Oreo that looks like dirt, M&M's, sour gummy worms, Twizzlers, and frosting and a new exciting, creative world may develop in your kitchen. Their individual imaginations will begin to unfold before your eyes. In this moment my love for these girls expanded and I was even more amazed at their individual spirits and strengths. No one cookie was the same. Haha, not even close.

I find that beautiful.

Isn't that how we all are? Not one of us is the same. We are shaped differently, have different colored hair, have our own style, our own interests, our own strengths and weaknesses, good days and bad days, and very special talents that were given to us to develop and help others.

These little girls taught me this, along with so many other things.

It was Jesus Christ Himself who taught us to look at children as an example.

"These precious children of God come to us with believing hearts. They are full of faith and receptive to feelings of the Spirit. They exemplify humility, obedience, and love. They are often the first to love and the first to forgive." -Jean A. Stevens

 

 

 

 

My heart was so full of love for my friend Emily, and for all of the sweet little girls we had with us. I could feel the Savior's love for me and for them. I know precious spirits like these girls are some of the best, most humble examples we can look to in our lives and I am grateful I was able to spend time with them!

 

My smile didn't leave my face at all that night and it still hasn't. Since I want you to smile as well, I hope something in this made you at least smirk or giggle a little ;)

 

My heart is full, life is beautiful, and little kids are some of the best medicine!

 

Keep smiling! :)

 

 





I love to see the temple.

Today I have a lot to smile about. But right now I am especially grateful for temples as I have learned and pondered about them.

Growing up, many of us sang the comforting words to the primary song "I Love to See the Temple". As I have gotten older, these words have become even more comforting and even more exciting.

"I love to see the temple, I'm going there someday.
To feel the Holy Spirit, to listen and to pray.
For the temple is a House of God, a place of love and beauty.
I'll prepare myself while I am young, this is my scared duty.

I love to see the temple, I'll go inside someday
To covenant with my Father, I'll promise to obey.
For the temple is a holy place where we are sealed together
As a child of God I've learned this truth, a family is forever."

Those words are so true. I LOVE to see the temple. It is the best place for me to go to receive peace and comfort. I can go there when I am confused for searching for something. I can go and feel the love that my Heavenly Father and Savior have for me.
As I have graduated high school and life has started to hit me, along with all of the new and exciting changes and challenges it brings, I have turned to the temple more than ever before. And I inevitably contemplate when the time will come that I'll go inside someday. I have started to feel almost a sense of urgency to make sure I am staying close to the spirit, and I know that doing so will prepare me for that day... and for the rest of my life.

 

The Salt Lake Temple has always had a special place in my heart. As a dear friend and I walked around the outside of it the other day, I realized how truly amazing it is. In that instance of feeling a spirit of peace and looking up in awe as I stood on the temple grounds with my friend, my testimony was strengthened. My desire to go inside someday was unlike anything I have ever felt before. And my desire to make sure that I am doing all that I can right now to prepare was... overwhelming, and enveloping.
My friend and I talked about the detail of such an amazing structure. I wondered how in the world the Pioneers were able to do what they did so long ago. The thought came to my mind that they didn't come up with it or do it all on their own, someone made it possible for them. I liken that to my own life. I can't do anything on my own, but with my Heavenly Father's help, I can do what He wants me to. He has a plan for me and if I am doing my part and staying close to the spirit, He will make the way for me to accomplish His will.

 

 I love to see the temple. I'm going there someday.

 

I am so grateful for the opportunity we have to have so many temples around us. I am grateful for the love and peace that I feel when I attend the temple. Going there and feeling of the spirit that is there is something I know I need in my life.

 

 

“I think there is no place in the world where I feel closer to the Lord than in one of His holy temples.”

                                                                                         —President Thomas S. Monson

 The blessings of the temple are endless. Aren't we lucky to have them on the earth?

I think we are pretty lucky, and I think that is definitely something to smile about :)

 

I also feel lucky to be able to pictures of such an amazing and beautiful House of the Lord.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope something can make you smile today so you can share it with someone else!

Keep smiling :)

Faith, beauty, and love.

My heart is full this Friday morning. Having faith in the future brings me so much peace, life is amazingly beautiful, and I know God lives, and I know He loves me.

As a new season is approaching and the leaves are changing, I think a lot about this transitioning time of year and have compared it to this transitioning stage of life for me, and for so many around me. It maybe  unknown, confusing, stressful, and hard at times, but oh boy, is it exciting. Just like it is exciting for me to see the changing color of leaves on the mountains, or to enjoy the change in weather, I am realizing how important it is for me to be excited about going to a new school, making new friends, taking on new challenges, and simply letting myself have fun and enjoy where I am at in life.
Since I spend a lot of time driving these days, I have tons of time to think and ponder. I admit that sometimes I find myself wishing that I was still doing the things I used to do. I often wish I was still involved in what I used to be involved in. As I walk through campus I at times wish I could still feel the bond of the school I attended for three years, where I had a friend around every corner, and always had someone to talk to. All of these desires are short-lived, for I know that I truly do not want to take a step back in life. But as unexpected trials, heartache, and confusion have come into my life, I have realized that it can be hard to let go of what was, move forward with faith. At times I wonder if I had made different decisions, or restrained myself from feeling certain emotions, if all of these hard things wouldn't have happened. Luckily I have a Father in Heaven who is aware of me and my feelings and finds ways to bring peace to my soul. He can see the big picture and knows that I need to go through these hard times in order to grow and experience the good times. During my time of pondering, I have also realized that without progression, life would have no purpose. We are on this earth to learn and grow. I have realized that just as the seasons change, so will life. I realize that there is no reason to fight the inevitable change in our lives, so why not embrace it? What is the use in holding on to something that was? Accepting the good and the bad that has happened in our lives is the first step in looking forward in faith toward the future.

"Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I have started to learn to embrace this new stage of life that I am in, I am noticing more all of the little things that make my life beautiful.
I marvel at the simple beauty of the changing colors on the leaves, and at the calming sound of the birds chirping in the morning. I am in awe of the beautiful mountains that surround us and the sense of security they bring. I get excited when I smell the fresh air as I run or walk around campus.
I am blessed to be a part of an amazing family that helps me learn and grow every day. I have been given an opportunity to receive an education and to gain knowledge. I am surrounded by good neighbors, have grown up with good friends, and have been blessed with an amazing ward. It is humbling to me to know that I have been given a body that can do so much. I am grateful for the true blessing it is that we are surrounded by so many temples, and for the peace that attending the temple can bring into my life. I am grateful for trials and for the opportunity they give us to grow.
I am also grateful for all of the little things in life. I am constantly amazed at the beautiful landscape my eyes get to see whenever I am driving down the street, or looking across the valley. I sit in wonder as I look up at the sky and see the stars. I am amazed at simple objects like plants that provide so much nourishment. I am unexpectedly giddy when I see all of the bright sunflowers on the side of the road that seem to shout, "Heidi, be happy! Life is beautiful!".  And I am immensely grateful for that sweet reminder.

 

 I am grateful for sunsets. On nights I am driving home from work, or just outside for a walk, I often try to soak in the gorgeous sun setting behind the Oquirrh Mountains, with the clouds in sky, reminding me that tomorrow there will be a sunrise. It will be a new day, a chance to start over and try to be a little better than I was the day before. "Sunsets bring sunrises", this was the theme for my last, and best high school dance.  It is by far THE most meaningful dance theme that there ever could be. (Thank you Elam, Joseph, Heather, and Madi). At a time when all of my friends and classmates were about to start a new stage of life, this line was one that brought me great hope. It stayed with me when I was about to graduate, and still brings peace to my soul, especially in the ever-changing stage of life.

I have also gained an appreciation for a simple camera. Last week I was having a particularly hard time with all of these new and mixed emotions that come with this crazy time of life. I was driving home from a friends' house when all of these thoughts started coming into my head. Nature is beautiful, my surroundings are beautiful, people are beautiful, I am beautiful.... and life is beautiful! I was exploding with gratitude for all of the blessings in my life. I realized that at times when I see these little things that remind of the beauty of life, I want to have a record of them. I stopped on the side of the road to take some pictures that day and was humbled to realize how much I have been given, and know that I am here to learn.

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.... so why not enjoy it and embrace all that is has to offer?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

In my seemingly never-ending stage of self-discovery lately, I have come to know that my Heavenly Father lives. How could I deny that when I see all of the beauty that surrounds me? I look back on all of the experiences I have had the last couple and years, months, and even the last couple of days that have helped me to grow. I can see the hand that Heavenly Father has had, and still does have, in my life. I know that He has a plan for me. I know that He is preparing me for the rest of my life, and I am so grateful for that. I know He loves me.

Just like the Primary song says, "I know my Father lives, and loves me too. The spirit whispers this to me and tells me it is true."

I have felt His love these past couple of weeks in every action, every thought, and every detail of my life. I know He cares. I know He is in the details of our lives, and that is absolutely amazing to me. I am grateful for the knowledge I have of this and for the peace that it brings me in my life.

 

 

I wish I was better at expressing my feelings, but to any of you who read this, I am grateful for the part that each of you have played in my life and for examples you set. YOU are part of the reason my life is so beautiful, so thank you.

 

I am so grateful for the tests of faith that we have in our lives. I am grateful for the choice that we have to respond with faith to trials. I am grateful for all of the little things in my life, and for everyone who helps me to enjoy those little things. Not only is my life is beautiful because of these little things, but also because of the trials and the growing that my loving Heavenly Father enables to me have.

 

I definitely have a lot to smile about, and I am grateful for everyone and everything that has helped me realize that! :)



I am saying this to remind myself, but also others: Keep Smiling! :)

 

 

Until I Trust, Without Hesitation

Wow.
What an amazing, horrible, and stressful past couple of weeks it has been.

I knew when I graduated high school that I was going to be starting a new chapter in my life. What I didn't know though, was how this chapter would play out. For the first time in my life, I really didn't know what I needed to plan for, or what I really wanted.

I also didn't know what it meant to put complete trust in the Lord.... I have a better understanding of that now.

Decisions; gotta love them right? (I am still getting to that point). I am a very indecisive person. Ask my sister, my family, or my best friend: simple choices like deciding what earrings to buy at the store, what souvenir to get at Bear Lake, what color to paint my nails, and what to do when we have nothing to do, are unusually incredibly difficult decisions for me. After these last few weeks though, these seemingly difficult decisions, have never seemed so simple in my life.Yes, I have graduated high school and as cheesy as it sounds, I am truly starting a new chapter in my life. This is the first time in my life that I have not really had a plan. There hasn't been cross country, student government, or even "high school" to plan for or to look forward to. All summer I have been trying to plan on something I wanted, but didn't actually have. The problem was though, I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't really know what I was looking forward to because I didn't know what there was to look forward to. I felt like I wasn't really in a position that I knew what decisions I needed to make... but I did know that I quickly had to start making some real, important decisions.

This line kept running through my head. I knew College was my first major decision....What if I made the wrong decision and it ruined the rest of my life? What if I wasn't choosing what Heavenly Father had planned for me? The importance and urgency of this decision and so many to come weighed on me very heavily and I started to  freak out.

I thought I had a plan: go to UVU, do all I can to become an ambassador, receive the housing scholarship I wanted, figure out how to pay for school, commute to and from Orem every single day, and just make it work. This is where stress came in. I knew that my plan didn't make a whole lot of sense; but what now? The plan I had made didn't seem right... I didn't know what to do, where to go.... what was best, what I wanted to study, and how I was going to pay for it all. I didn't know where to even start in finalizing this plan, or making a new one....

Fortunately for me, I have very loving, and very logical parents. Sitting down and actually discussing the plan I had made with them made me realize how much my plan really did not make much sense. Going into debt before school even started? Having no time to do anything fun because I was either commuting, in class, or at work? There were many reasons why I was so uneasy about my original decision... and it wasn't a situation I wanted to put myself in.

This is how the last few weeks have gone:

One night, I had a conversation with my parents (as mentioned above) about how realistic and logical going to UVU actually was. Not very. It ended late that night, and I had consciously made the decision to drop my classes at UVU and look into other cheaper, closer-to-home options.

SURPRISE! The next morning I receive an email from a lovely lady at UVU who is part of the Ambassador program that I was hoping to get into. We had been corresponding for months so I knew what the email was about. I read the Subject Line to confirm my prediction. After reading the email and learning I had been awarded a scholarship I had been wanting since March, I wasn't even excited. I was almost... disappointed. Great. I had made a plan to forget about all this UVU stuff. Now I needed to decided what to do... again.

So.... I prayed, a lot. I made a pros and cons list, and thought constantly about what to do. I continued to feel more comfortable with the decision I had made to drop the UVU classes and look into other options. But I still wasn't getting a confirmation that that decision was right. 

So I prayed some more and fasted that Sunday. Still felt the same. Alright, let's go with it. As the following week progressed though, the 'other options' I was looking into didn't seem appealing enough to me to actually do anything about and I became very...depressed. My family started to truly dislike being around me; I was an emotional, irritable, stressed, worried, and confused, pain in the be-hind. I could not stop thinking about what I should do. At all. I had literally broken down each choice to its' smallest part. I had thought about every possibility, every advantage, every disadvantage, and all of the physical, emotional, and mental benefits of both of my options. The stress of not knowing what to do or what was right was emotionally draining.

In my time of darkness and despair (Yes, I know it is dramatic, but it was horrible) and my unproductive days, I spent some good quality time on Facebook. (What is wrong with me!?) I started looking at pictures of one UVU Ambassador who I have become friends with over the past few months, and who I look up to immensely. There were pictures of her with the other Ambassadors at UVU and I started to think again that maybe all of that was what I really wanted. I couldn't admit it to myself though. That night at work I had a great talk with an amazing friend who helped me breathe a little and calm down. She reminded me to keep praying for guidance and peace. I felt reassured about the whole situation but still couldn't stop contemplating. I got home and my mom was loving,  patient, and brave enough to sit down with me and try to figure out what was going on in my head. (something that I didn't even know at this point).

As we talked, I finally admitted to myself that I actually did want to go to UVU and accept the scholarship and become an Ambassador. Once I admitted this and talked about all of the reasons I wanted it, I felt a peace I hadn't felt for weeks. I was excited in a way I hadn't been in months. My mom noticed it too. So this must mean I need to go to UVU, right? I had been praying for confirmation and peace in my decision.... so it must be right. I sure thought so. I started to pray about UVU and the peace that I had been feeling. 

The next day at work, I talked with another great friend who has and will be attending UVU in the fall, and who will be staying in the same housing I'd be staying in. We talked about my experiences and feelings the past couple of days, my sudden change in opinion, and the timing of everything that had happened. We talked about all of the exciting and fun things that we could do down at UVU. We even talked about jobs and being in the same ward together. I was sold. I needed to go to UVU. Everything was happening for a reason. I fasted the Sunday before and felt uneasy all week because what I really should have been praying about was going to UVU. I needed to know that what I thought was best for me actually wasn't. I was feeling this way for a reason, I knew it. Yeah, I would be going into debt, but I could make it work.

Then the time came to talk to dad. My dad has always been the logical and financial thinker in our home. (I often blame this on the emotional tendencies of girls and the 'feelings' we have... and he's just smart.) He had been gone for a week and I was afraid to tell him what my new plan was, because I knew he would find some problems with it.

Yes, our discussion was discouraging. But it made me realize a lot and think a lot. I still emotionally wanted to go to UVU and my parents supported that. We agreed that my plan should be to find out as much as I could about this scholarship that I seemed to want so badly. Well, the more information I found out, the less excited I was about the whole UVU scholarship and situation overall. But what do I do? I still emotionally wanted what I was being offered at UVU, even though I knew it logically and financially it made absolutely NO sense.

Oh, and I forgot to mention. The day I found out that I had received the Ambassador Housing Scholarship at UVU I also found out that I needed to let them know by July 24th what I had decided. (That gave me 15 days. 15!!!) Great, now I had to make a decision by a deadline.

Throughout all of this though, I started to have more consistent scripture study and prayer. I have never prayed so intently or openly in my life. I have never felt closer to my Heavenly Father and had more faith in Him... even if it was extremely difficult at times.

I went to friends mission farewell in the middle of all of this and he shared this scripture. I knew I needed to keep praying, and reading my scriptures and having faith that everything would work out.

So..... I prayed more and pondered more......like ALL THE TIME. Eventually, I had enough information to make a wise decision. I had one day left to decid. I had absolutely NO idea what to do. I was emotionally, logically, and financially torn. How could I just let go of this scholarship that I have been wanting since March? (I missed part of Prom for this!)  I felt horrible. I was also kind of in shock and I just felt extremely blessed... so wouldn't I have been ungrateful to just decline it? 
I had been accepted to be an Ambassador of Utah Valley University. Wow. I just couldn't get myself to simply let it go... even though I knew I needed to.

When all we have is faith and we have done all we can, the Lord provides a way.

July 23rd, (yes, the day before I had to let UVU know), my mom walks in with a huge stack of mail, with an unusual number of the envelopes addressed to me. Used to receiving useless mail from random colleges, and other random companies, I started to open the mail out of curiosity. When I saw that two of the envelopes were from SLCC, I didn't really think much of it. The first one informed me that I unfortunately, I had not received a scholarship I had applied for. Alright, I wasn't really expecting it. The second letter from SLCC informed me that I had received a scholarship. A scholarship that would cover my tuition and fees. Whoa.

Great, more decisions.

To make an even longer story a tiny bit shorter, that night as my family was watching a movie I started searching classes at SLCC on the computer and made a list of ones that sounded fun to me. I started getting excited just thinking about it.

Heidi. You could go to school for free. It would be stupid of you not to take this. Choosing to go into debt and having absolutely no free time is simply not worth it when you could have the exact opposite. For free.

I knew what I needed to do and I signed into my UVLink and pretty much had to force myself to just press the decline button on the Scholarship offer. 

I had made a decision. I was not going to UVU. I was going to Salt Lake Community College and my school was going to be paid for.

The amount of love and peace I felt in that moment was incredible. I broke down into tears as I told my parents what I had done. At the time I thought it was because of how truly difficult it was for me to decline that scholarship. Looking back on it now, I think the tears were also a pouring out of the immense love and assurance I felt, along with joy and relief that this decision finally had been made.

"Faith in God includes faith in His timing."

-Neal A. Maxwell

Oh man, how I know this is true. The Lord pushed me literally to my limit. I learned to have faith that the Lord will provide a way for me to accomplish His will. I needed to learn to have faith in His timing, not my own. I learned a lot about patience throughout all of this. I know the experiences and feelings and fears, and worries, and the testimony I have felt and gained within the last few weeks are all things that will help my with other decisions in my life. I know that He has a plan for me.

It is amazing to look back and realize how everything just seemed to happen so perfectly. 

The Lord is in the details of our lives. I know this is true and I know that we can turn to the Lord for anything. He really is ready and willing to listen... and guide us. If we let Him.

Until I trust, without hesitation.

When humility has chased away the pride.

This is a line to a song that I listen to often in my car. These past couple of weeks though, it has been a constant, comforting, and motivating reminder. This whole experience taught me to trust and rely on my Heavenly Father. It taught me to trust that He truly does have a plan for me and He is more than willing to help me. He is always there.

I know that this whole decision seemed HUGE to me, and I know that I may shortly realize how unimportant it really was. I also know that to all of you reading it may seem like a pretty simple decision, and that I shouldn't have stressed so much about. What I learned from this decision and experience though, is something I want to remember. It is something I want others to possible find comfort in. 

Whatever decisions we face in life, there is always someone willing to listen and to guide us. Our Heavenly Father is in the details of our lives.

And that is definitely something to smile about. :)

Grateful for hard times, and the times when you realize it was all worth it..... til next time.....

Keep smiling :)  

First Post... :)

First time, blogger? Yup, that's me. I guess you could call it hopping on the band wagon...? I would like to consider it admiration.
I like to read the posts of friends, acquaintances, co-workers, and yes- even some random people.
I have noticed one thing they all seem to have in common: the love they each have for their own life and the beauty that they see in it. And that is the reason I am doing this. I admire the talent that others have in using words on a page to express their emotions, teach a lesson, and even be an inspiration to so many people. 
That is my goal with this endeavor. I want to record the experiences and thoughts in my life that have made on impact on me and will hopefully impact others as well, even if it is simply making them smile.. ;)

And if not... well it is still fun to write. ;)

So, to start this out, there is something I have learned that can make the biggest impact of all: smiling. 
As a sophomore preparing for my first year of high school, I remember my older brother sharing a poem with me. This poem changed me. Pause for dramatic effect?No. But really- It changed my attitude. It changed how I felt about myself, but also how I felt about others. I realized how something so simple can make such a big difference. I decided to test it out and it reigned truer than any science experiment I have ever conducted. Even though that number was pretty limited... It continued to remain my personal 'theme' throughout high school. I have to admit though, I wasn't always the best example of it. and has lately been running through my mind. I guess I need to smile more, huh?

"Smiling is infectious

You can catch it like the flu

When someone smiled at me today

I started smiling too

I walked around a corner

And someone saw my grin

Then he smiled and I realized

I had passed it on to him

So if you feel a smile begin,

Don't leave it undetected

Let's start an epidemic quick

And get the world infected."

This was a cause and effect experiment for me. 

Cause: make others happy.

Effect: Smiling will make you happy. It can and will change your attitude. If you let it. Even if you say you aren't happy, once you smile, you are wrong. It will makes others happy. Even if it is just for a minute. Eventually, those minutes can add up.. It can make a dark day a little bit brighter. It can be the reason someone gets themselves out of bed in the morning. It can be the motivation and encouragement someone needs to simply believe in themselves. It really is infectious! Watch it happen. It is amazing. Sounds cheesy but it it true.

I could go on and on.... 

I wanted to title this blog after this poem because so far in my life it has helped me through some hard times, and well, has made me smile. :) 

At this point, or new chapter, in my life I don't know what to expect. I feel like everything is up in the air, and it scares me at times that not everything is simply laid out for me anymore. If you know me you know how hard this is for me. I have to trust that what I want- or think I want- may not be what Heavenly Father wants... easier said than done....and remember that no matter what things will work out. And that can be hard. I have learned though that taking each day, literally, one day at a time and deciding each morning to be happy and have a good day can do wonders. I have learned that our *** attitude impacts our actions but often times our actions impact our attitudes *** more than anything else ever could. These actions may most importantly be of simple service - as simple as smiling - but will change our attitude and outlook for a long time. 

At the end of each email I write to my brother, yes, the same brother that showed me this poem, I write: Keep Smiling:) even if I am not even smiling at the time. Often times I think I write this more for me than for him...

So, I share these with you and title the blog after this poem to help others to smile and be happy, but also to help myself remember the amazing effects one simple action can do, and also to have hope in my seemingly unknown future.

Let us enjoy the adventures of life with a smile on our face

Although each day may be unexpected, I pray that we can embrace.

This is one of those "I am writing this for you but also for me" lines.....

SO if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected.

Let's start an epidemic quick and get the world infected.

Yes, I am a rookie at this and I hope to improve. Thanks for reading! And don't forget.....

KEEP SMILING :)

*** When I wrote this it reminded me of a quote I have hiding somewhere in my room, hence the reason I didn't put it up. Anyways, it goes something like this:

Attitude dictates our actions

Actions dictate our choices

And Choices dictate our Destiny....

Wow- put it that way and a smile could literally change a life... :)